1 00:00:25,713 --> 00:00:29,911 Okay, Mr Putteridge, I'm just going to carry out a quick internal examination now. 2 00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:32,871 If you'd like to roll yourself over onto your left side. 3 00:00:36,393 --> 00:00:37,872 That's lovely. 4 00:00:41,153 --> 00:00:44,509 -My, you're very tense. -I am. I'm sorry. 5 00:00:49,153 --> 00:00:52,543 Good. Well, that all seems to be fine. 6 00:00:56,993 --> 00:00:58,904 You know, I think... 7 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:02,668 if you can just relax those muscles for me, Mr Putteridge. 8 00:01:02,753 --> 00:01:05,586 Only I can't quite.... 9 00:01:05,673 --> 00:01:08,710 And just try not to keep clenching up so much. 10 00:01:09,193 --> 00:01:13,027 GIL: But the more anxious he grows at the indelicacy of his predicament, 11 00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:16,071 the tighter she is trapped, as if in a vice. 12 00:01:16,473 --> 00:01:18,509 It's like it's gone into spasm or something. 13 00:01:18,593 --> 00:01:22,108 GIL: No matter how hard she struggles, she is totally unable to extricate herself. 14 00:01:22,193 --> 00:01:23,228 Dear God! 15 00:01:23,313 --> 00:01:24,302 GIL: As we cut to.... 16 00:01:24,393 --> 00:01:27,510 Putteridge, still on the trolley but now draped with a blanket, 17 00:01:27,593 --> 00:01:32,383 being wheeled out to an ambulance while the doctor is obliged to scurry alongside, 18 00:01:32,473 --> 00:01:35,829 still locked in position and looking distinctly fractious. 19 00:01:35,913 --> 00:01:37,551 From which we mix to.... 20 00:01:37,633 --> 00:01:40,067 A courthouse exterior, day. Several weeks later. 21 00:01:40,153 --> 00:01:43,350 Where a TVreporter is talking earnestly to camera. 22 00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:46,391 ...the judge said Dr Laura Brandywine had been the victim of 23 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:49,590 "an unusual, but particularly crude indecent assault" 24 00:01:49,673 --> 00:01:52,141 in which her patient had forcibly attached 25 00:01:52,233 --> 00:01:54,747 a most intimate part of his body to her right index finger 26 00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:58,269 in a manner calculated to leave lasting emotional scars. 27 00:01:58,353 --> 00:02:01,982 The award of GBP500,000 in damages he said, "Was designed to show that 28 00:02:02,073 --> 00:02:04,143 "sexist behaviour in the National Health Service..." 29 00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:08,909 GIL: "...whether by staff or patients, would not be tolerated under any circumstances. " 30 00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:20,630 Lloyd! How you doing? 31 00:02:21,953 --> 00:02:26,743 Yeah, good. Well, you know, just kicking some stuff around that briefly amused me. 32 00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:28,824 An hour from now I'm probably gonna hate it but.... 33 00:02:30,953 --> 00:02:32,784 Thing is... 34 00:02:33,713 --> 00:02:37,467 I've got this woman downstairs doing some painting in the kitchen. 35 00:02:38,753 --> 00:02:41,187 Because I bought this big old bookcase the other day 36 00:02:41,273 --> 00:02:44,743 that kind of needs cleaning up and re-staining and.... 37 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:48,462 I mean, you know, she's very nice, very conscientious and everything, 38 00:02:48,553 --> 00:02:51,704 but what she really wants to be is an actress. 39 00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:56,708 So, you know, I go to the fridge for a beer, I get 20 minutes now on Stanislavsky. 40 00:02:57,113 --> 00:02:59,343 I'm a prisoner in my own office here. 41 00:02:59,433 --> 00:03:04,268 Plus she's doing this play in the evenings which I foolishly said I'd go along and see. 42 00:03:04,353 --> 00:03:08,551 So, you know, it's all distractions here at the moment, I can't focus. 43 00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:10,430 So what are you up to this afternoon 44 00:03:10,513 --> 00:03:13,266 'cause I could really do with a sounding board right now? 45 00:03:13,753 --> 00:03:14,902 Uh-huh. 46 00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:17,029 No, 2:30 would be perfect. 47 00:03:17,593 --> 00:03:20,824 "The quality of mercy is not strained. 48 00:03:20,913 --> 00:03:24,383 "It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven, 49 00:03:24,473 --> 00:03:26,429 "Upon the place beneath. 50 00:03:26,593 --> 00:03:28,470 "It is twice blest. 51 00:03:28,873 --> 00:03:32,627 "It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes. 52 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,950 -"It is mightiest in the mightiest. " -"It is mightiest in the mightiest." 53 00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:37,625 -Okay then, Deirdre. -"It becomes the throned.... " 54 00:03:37,713 --> 00:03:40,466 I'm gonna leave you to it, then, if that's okay and shoot off into town. 55 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,545 Oh, right, yes. Sorry, Mr Raymond, about that. 56 00:03:43,633 --> 00:03:46,545 Just trying to get on top of this audition piece for tomorrow. 57 00:03:46,633 --> 00:03:49,670 I may not need it, but.... So, what do you think? 58 00:03:49,753 --> 00:03:52,631 Is it starting to get more of that distressed look you were after? 59 00:03:52,713 --> 00:03:57,548 -Oh, yeah, terrific. It's really coming along now. -Isn't it? Oh, and... 60 00:03:57,633 --> 00:04:00,830 do you think you'll be able to make it, then, tomorrow night? 61 00:04:00,913 --> 00:04:02,631 Curtain up at 7:30. 62 00:04:02,713 --> 00:04:06,547 Obviously, I would so love to get your input as a professional in the business 63 00:04:06,633 --> 00:04:09,272 because, I mean, in terms of the motivational energy 64 00:04:09,353 --> 00:04:11,867 which may not be coming quite from the centre at the moment.... 65 00:04:11,953 --> 00:04:16,708 Yes, well.... I guess I could just about make it at a pinch. 66 00:04:18,273 --> 00:04:22,312 -So you're playing.... -I'm Estragon and Becky Eldridge is Vladimir. 67 00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:24,111 O...kay. 68 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:29,183 Great. Well, I'll look forward to it. The whole idea sounds inspired. 69 00:04:29,313 --> 00:04:31,543 I mean, the whole idea's insane! 70 00:04:31,633 --> 00:04:35,148 How can you do an all-female version of Waiting for Godot? 71 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,428 The whole fabric of the thing, you know, 72 00:04:37,513 --> 00:04:41,552 is these two guys rooted to the spot in a meaningless universe. 73 00:04:41,633 --> 00:04:45,911 With two women it'd be, "The bastard's not coming. Let's go and have lunch." 74 00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:48,029 Didn't you do a sketch about that once? 75 00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:51,628 How every different social group now has to put its own spin on the classics? 76 00:04:51,713 --> 00:04:52,907 Oh! 77 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,870 -Fat Hamlet. -Fat Hamlet. 78 00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:58,741 -What, has this thing appeared again tonight? -I have seen nothing. 79 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:01,028 Tush, tush, 'twill not appear. 80 00:05:01,113 --> 00:05:03,991 Peace, break thee off. Look, where it comes again! 81 00:05:04,113 --> 00:05:06,024 Then I'm gonna have that awful thing afterwards 82 00:05:06,113 --> 00:05:09,662 where you have to go back to the dressing room, try and find something nice to say. 83 00:05:09,753 --> 00:05:13,382 "The audience really seemed to be taking it all in," is the one I always use. 84 00:05:13,473 --> 00:05:15,862 It has the sound of a compliment and means bugger all. 85 00:05:15,953 --> 00:05:19,662 Oh, yes. Very good. Didn't you say that when you came to see my play? 86 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,709 Well, that's because they were taking it all in. 87 00:05:21,793 --> 00:05:24,671 Now, before we get started, here's something might perk you up. 88 00:05:24,753 --> 00:05:29,269 I had a call today from Holly Guffman at ICM, who's Pascal Peters' agent. 89 00:05:29,353 --> 00:05:31,264 Pascal Peters as in? 90 00:05:31,353 --> 00:05:34,072 Yeah, I did a thing with her at the Donmar about seven years ago. 91 00:05:34,153 --> 00:05:36,906 You'll know her face. I think I've got some pictures here somewhere. 92 00:05:36,993 --> 00:05:40,383 Anyway, she's been in the States for two years apparently, 93 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,464 doing all the usual sitcom shit, 94 00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:45,272 dopey English girlfriends who talk like George Formby. 95 00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:51,261 When she heard you were developing a new script for us, very keen to be in on the ground floor. 96 00:05:51,353 --> 00:05:53,708 So, according to Holly, 97 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:56,751 if you've got a nice, chunky part for her... 98 00:05:57,633 --> 00:06:02,423 she'd love to meet up and toss it around. Ah, there you go. 99 00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:07,231 What d'you think? You must recognise her. 100 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:25,107 A bit more puppy fat in those days but.... 101 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:31,302 Plus, she's given me her number here, so you can ring her up direct. 102 00:06:32,953 --> 00:06:35,342 Are you serious? And say what? 103 00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:39,392 "Hello, I'm Gil Raymond. How'd you like to toss my nice, chunky part around?" 104 00:06:39,473 --> 00:06:43,432 What is this, Carry On Up the Casting Couch? I think you're making all this up. 105 00:06:43,513 --> 00:06:46,505 I swear that's what she said to me, the exact words. 106 00:06:46,593 --> 00:06:51,508 Now, look, I happen to know this young lady has just split up with her boyfriend. 107 00:06:51,593 --> 00:06:54,391 She'll be lonely, Gil, ready for some company. 108 00:06:54,473 --> 00:06:57,863 For just once in your life, try and think positive thoughts. 109 00:06:57,953 --> 00:07:02,231 -She'd eat me for breakfast. -See, that's more like it. Now come here. 110 00:07:02,353 --> 00:07:05,311 No, Lloyd, will you put that down? This is lunacy! 111 00:07:05,513 --> 00:07:09,665 Why would a girl like that be interested in me? She's probably into, 112 00:07:09,753 --> 00:07:14,383 you know, cocaine and rough sex and game-show hosts. 113 00:07:14,473 --> 00:07:18,830 Pascal? Hi, it's Lloyd Drewitt. I'm good, never been better. 114 00:07:18,953 --> 00:07:24,152 Listen, did Holly get back to you at all about.... She did? Great. Yeah. 115 00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:31,070 Yeah, yeah. No, well, he's right here now and dying to speak to you, so hang on, 116 00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:32,950 I'll pass you over. 117 00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:37,183 PASCAL: Yes? Hello? 118 00:07:37,713 --> 00:07:39,032 Gil? 119 00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,710 Hello, Pascal? 120 00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:45,701 Speaking. Er, how are you? 121 00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:49,346 Well, that's very kind, I'm.... 122 00:07:50,593 --> 00:07:53,061 No, no, nothing's finalised as yet. 123 00:07:53,153 --> 00:07:57,226 I'm still, you know, sifting all the pieces around in my mind, so.... 124 00:07:57,313 --> 00:08:00,749 No, if you had an idea for a character, that'd be.... 125 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:04,982 Yeah, of course, I would love to. 126 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:09,023 Tomorrow would be tricky 'cause I promised to go and see this play, 127 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:13,550 which unless you're a huge fan of Samuel Beckett I would avoid at all.... 128 00:08:14,353 --> 00:08:17,902 Really? Well, listen... 129 00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:22,712 you may live to regret it, but.... Okay, fine. 130 00:08:23,313 --> 00:08:28,228 Why don't we meet up outside the theatre about 7:1 5? 131 00:08:28,313 --> 00:08:32,272 We could have a drink in the bar maybe and...yeah, great. 132 00:08:32,873 --> 00:08:35,262 Hang on, I'll just get the details. 133 00:08:44,113 --> 00:08:47,742 God, the stuff they try and palm you off with now up in photographic! 134 00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:50,905 I mean, why would anyone want a picture of that on their wall? 135 00:08:50,993 --> 00:08:54,269 For 1 00 quid! Of all the ugly things! 136 00:08:55,113 --> 00:08:56,910 "Are you proud of your home? 137 00:08:56,993 --> 00:09:00,224 "Then why not commission one of our special aerial photographs? 138 00:09:00,313 --> 00:09:03,430 "Taken from a helicopter, in high-resolution...." 139 00:09:03,513 --> 00:09:07,188 Erm, they're talking about a photo of a house, you do realise? 140 00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,264 Not a photo of an aerial. 141 00:09:09,793 --> 00:09:12,546 Yes, I'm not stupid. 142 00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:17,389 How would it work for me, anyway, if I've got a basement flat? 143 00:09:17,753 --> 00:09:20,506 You see, they haven't thought it through. 144 00:09:21,873 --> 00:09:24,785 Talking of which, Ali, how's your flat-hunting been going? 145 00:09:24,873 --> 00:09:27,865 -Still no joy at all? -Don't. 146 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,070 Every time you think you've found the perfect place, 147 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,225 there's always that one niggling thing that lets it all down. 148 00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:37,586 It's become almost a game now, looking for it. 149 00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,185 And the bedroom is? 150 00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:55,066 It's like, it's really wearing me down. 151 00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:59,470 If I have to put up with this screeching pain much longer in my head.... 152 00:10:59,553 --> 00:11:02,351 -What, like a migraine? -It's not a migraine exactly. 153 00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:04,389 People say they've got a migraine, don't they? 154 00:11:04,473 --> 00:11:07,306 When they don't think a headache sounds serious enough. 155 00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:09,270 This is more like a brain tumour. 156 00:11:09,353 --> 00:11:11,867 -I think I've convinced myself. -Oh, my God, Ali! 157 00:11:11,953 --> 00:11:15,343 This'll be the brain tumour you've had ever since you went to bed last Thursday. 158 00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:18,106 And how long is that? Four days now. 159 00:11:18,193 --> 00:11:20,707 -Just after you'd been watching an episode of ER? -Okay.... 160 00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:24,308 -Which was all about? -Okay, can we change the subject? 161 00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:28,230 I'm getting that shooting thing now, behind the eyes. 162 00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:34,022 God, it's dead in here today, isn't it? Even for a Monday. 163 00:11:34,113 --> 00:11:36,946 It's 20 past. We could pack up now and miss the rush. 164 00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:40,662 -Oh, 'cause you can't wait, can you? -For what? 165 00:11:40,753 --> 00:11:44,428 What's his name? Bob? This guy you met playing in a folk club. 166 00:11:44,953 --> 00:11:48,946 I mean, how you can bring yourself.... Because I couldn't if my life depended on it. 167 00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:53,504 -What's wrong with him? He's very nice. -Of course he's nice, that's not the point. 168 00:11:53,593 --> 00:11:58,303 -What, then? -Oh, Milly, come on. It's not rocket salad, is it? 169 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,830 Doesn't he remind you of someone? 170 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,033 -Just a little bit? -Who? 171 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:12,711 Of course, you haven't met him yet, have you? Well, now's your chance. 172 00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:23,102 Hi, babe. How you doing? 173 00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:27,672 I'm doing very well, thank you. How's everyone else here today? Cleo. 174 00:12:27,793 --> 00:12:32,423 And this is Alice, my boss, I think I mentioned, who works us till we drop. 175 00:12:32,513 --> 00:12:33,662 Alice. 176 00:12:38,713 --> 00:12:42,149 It's a pleasure to meet you. You're a very genuine person. 177 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:46,102 I know from what Milly's told me. And I can see that. 178 00:12:46,473 --> 00:12:48,191 Oh, well.... 179 00:12:48,913 --> 00:12:51,029 And we've heard nice things about you, Bob. 180 00:12:52,913 --> 00:12:55,711 Ten minutes, then? I'll see you by the taxi rank. 181 00:13:05,353 --> 00:13:06,388 What? 182 00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:08,422 What? 183 00:13:08,993 --> 00:13:10,790 You'll burn in hell, Milly Russell! 184 00:13:11,553 --> 00:13:15,432 The things you're getting up to with that man. Is nothing sacred to you? 185 00:13:15,673 --> 00:13:18,710 He's just been showing me how to play his recorder. Is that such a.... 186 00:13:20,713 --> 00:13:25,070 That's the gospel truth! Oh, what is wrong with her? Ali? 187 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:29,392 Hello, stranger! You remember me? 188 00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:35,629 Oh, look what the cat dragged in! As I live and breathe! 189 00:13:35,713 --> 00:13:39,752 But look at you! My God! How long is it, 1 0 years now? 190 00:13:39,833 --> 00:13:43,269 If it's a day. My God, that grubby little flat in Camden. 191 00:13:43,353 --> 00:13:47,869 I was thinking about you just the other week actually, clearing some old photos out. 192 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:52,310 Do you remember that Christmas party when Mr Kennedy put his hand up your skirt? 193 00:13:53,193 --> 00:13:57,744 I most certainly do! Of course, you were wearing it at the time. 194 00:13:58,473 --> 00:14:00,464 I was! You're absolutely right! 195 00:14:00,553 --> 00:14:03,306 Oh, my God, that's right, 'cause that was the night when.... 196 00:14:03,393 --> 00:14:08,513 -You and Suzanne know each other I take it? -Oh, sorry. Alice Chenery, this is Chas. 197 00:14:08,593 --> 00:14:11,232 Very pleased to meet you, Alice. We should really be.... 198 00:14:11,313 --> 00:14:13,383 Absolutely. But listen, you'll have to come for supper 199 00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:16,465 and we'll have a big catch-up! You know I'm not in retail anymore? 200 00:14:16,553 --> 00:14:20,307 -I'm working as an artist now. -You're joking? You couldn't paint a toenail. 201 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:24,386 My own little studio, if you don't mind. Doing quite well actually. 202 00:14:24,473 --> 00:14:27,749 But anyway, yes! You still on that same number down in Brighton? 203 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:30,825 Yes, still trying to tunnel my way out. I've got about as far as Purley. 204 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,392 I'll give you a.... Tonight! 205 00:14:32,473 --> 00:14:35,749 -And we'll fix something up! -Yes, starting with me I hope. 206 00:14:35,993 --> 00:14:38,587 Take care, Suzanne, talk to you then. 207 00:14:39,273 --> 00:14:43,471 So, come on then, what did she mean by that, I'd go straight to hell? 208 00:14:43,553 --> 00:14:45,384 What is she on about? 209 00:14:45,473 --> 00:14:49,591 She's got nothing better to do than tease you, Milly, you know what she's.... 210 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:53,105 -What? -No, it's just.... 211 00:14:54,673 --> 00:14:57,107 Do you know, I do believe... 212 00:14:57,193 --> 00:14:58,911 my headache's gone. 213 00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:17,103 Hey! How are you? 214 00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:22,709 -This is so fantastic to see you again. -I can't believe it's been that long. 215 00:16:23,113 --> 00:16:26,867 And you're looking amazing. You don't look a day older! 216 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,511 Oh, thanks! 217 00:16:29,993 --> 00:16:34,145 So come in, come in, to my little bachelor-girl apartment. 218 00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:38,387 Oh, now, you see, this would suit me... 219 00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:40,951 right down to the ground. 220 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:44,912 -Sorry, it's not for sale. Not yet a while, anyway. -Thanks. 221 00:16:45,753 --> 00:16:49,382 So you and Chas haven't got any plans then, in that department? 222 00:16:49,473 --> 00:16:51,589 Er, no, not as such. 223 00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:56,708 And this is a genuine Suzanne Daley? 224 00:16:57,313 --> 00:16:58,666 Intriguing. 225 00:16:59,993 --> 00:17:03,588 Okay, two years ago, right, I was in Homebase picking out a vinyl emulsion 226 00:17:03,673 --> 00:17:05,470 and it just suddenly struck me. 227 00:17:05,553 --> 00:17:09,785 That here was this really interesting statement about graduated tones and colours, 228 00:17:09,873 --> 00:17:12,751 right under our nose that no one else had recognised. 229 00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:17,384 -And people are buying them? -Well, because thematically, you see, 230 00:17:17,473 --> 00:17:20,624 they just fit straight into any room in the house. 231 00:17:23,953 --> 00:17:26,183 See what I mean? Even in the bathroom. 232 00:17:28,153 --> 00:17:29,825 Aren't they great? 233 00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:34,590 Oh, how are your folks, by the way? I meant to ask. 234 00:17:34,673 --> 00:17:37,949 Because I know your father was quite ill, wasn't he, last time we.... 235 00:17:38,553 --> 00:17:41,750 Mum's still ticking over. I'm afraid my dad died. 236 00:17:42,193 --> 00:17:44,832 -About six years ago. -Oh, dear. Sorry. 237 00:17:44,913 --> 00:17:46,312 Yeah. 238 00:17:46,393 --> 00:17:48,987 'Cause that's just one of the hardest things I found... 239 00:17:49,073 --> 00:17:52,543 -to have to deal with. -Yeah. There you go. 240 00:17:53,913 --> 00:17:56,950 The pair of them used to run me ragged the whole time I was growing up 241 00:17:57,033 --> 00:18:00,389 one way or another, so it's not as if I feel I owe them a damn thing really. 242 00:18:00,473 --> 00:18:02,543 They've had their lives, let me have mine. 243 00:18:06,673 --> 00:18:09,028 That'll be Chas. You couldn't be an angel? 244 00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:12,742 Yes. Let me see to that for you. 245 00:18:22,273 --> 00:18:25,345 Hi. You wouldn't be Gil by any chance? 246 00:18:25,433 --> 00:18:27,822 -Yes. -Paul Gilpin. 247 00:18:27,913 --> 00:18:29,471 I'm Deirdre's husband. 248 00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:33,671 Hi. Yeah, I was just gonna drop by, say how much I enjoyed the show. 249 00:18:33,753 --> 00:18:35,232 Really? 250 00:18:35,993 --> 00:18:39,463 -Erm, it's just down here. -Oh, 'cause did you not? 251 00:18:40,313 --> 00:18:44,272 God, you think that was bad, you should have seen her last year playing Blanche DuBois. 252 00:18:44,353 --> 00:18:46,742 It was a cross between Dolly Parton and Miss Piggy. 253 00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:49,870 This is the third time I've been, I still have to watch through my fingers. 254 00:18:49,953 --> 00:18:52,945 Well, the audience seemed to be taking it all in. 255 00:18:54,153 --> 00:18:57,748 As an actress...she's very good at painting cupboards. 256 00:18:58,553 --> 00:19:02,865 She's not that great at that. But what do you do when it's the only thing she lives for? 257 00:19:02,953 --> 00:19:04,784 Kill someone's dreams? 258 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:10,829 How we doing in there? I've got you Mr Raymond, come for a quick word. 259 00:19:10,913 --> 00:19:12,426 DEIRDRE: Just one second. 260 00:19:13,513 --> 00:19:16,664 Hello! Thank you for coming. Come on in. 261 00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:19,950 -Hello. -Hello. Thank you so much for coming. 262 00:19:20,113 --> 00:19:23,708 So how were we? Was it okay out there for you? 263 00:19:23,793 --> 00:19:25,784 You were splendid. 264 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,752 How's the foot? That cream must have worked. You were hardly limping at all tonight. 265 00:19:29,873 --> 00:19:34,628 And thank you, what can I say, so much for coming. Did you enjoy it? 266 00:19:35,353 --> 00:19:36,581 Oh.... 267 00:19:36,673 --> 00:19:40,632 Hey, I mean, listen, well done. You know, 'cause... 268 00:19:41,193 --> 00:19:43,423 that is not an easy play, let's face it. 269 00:19:44,113 --> 00:19:45,910 Really? Are you sure? 270 00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:48,786 Thank you. 271 00:19:48,873 --> 00:19:51,512 Let me just see if my co-star is about. 272 00:19:51,593 --> 00:19:54,665 Becky, it's Paul and Gil Raymond both out here. 273 00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:56,946 Oh. Ooh.... 274 00:19:58,393 --> 00:20:01,066 Sorry, are you not quite.... My apologies. 275 00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:04,671 So anyway, Gil, what was your verdict? 276 00:20:04,753 --> 00:20:07,267 On the central conceit of making them both women? 277 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:12,308 Well, it's always worth seeing a brand new approach to something. 278 00:20:12,393 --> 00:20:14,668 You see? He got it. Immediately. 279 00:20:14,753 --> 00:20:17,950 That means more to me than what some stupid twerp on the local paper thinks 280 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,705 any day of the week. 281 00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:22,944 Do you know what my subtext is throughout the whole thing? 282 00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:25,706 Two lonely hearts waiting for Mr Right. 283 00:20:26,273 --> 00:20:28,343 Which I think works, don't you? 284 00:20:29,593 --> 00:20:31,823 Okay, who's going for a drink? 285 00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:34,144 COMMENTATOR ON TV: Hestrie Cloete now, 286 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,430 she's got this competition wrapped up, she wants two metres.... 287 00:20:37,513 --> 00:20:41,631 Now, why don't you two squeeze yourselves round there? 288 00:20:42,793 --> 00:20:46,342 'Cause the hard chair will be better for my back. There. 289 00:20:46,433 --> 00:20:47,866 Aw! 290 00:20:48,273 --> 00:20:53,028 Yes, so, as I say, Gil, if you want to come again, you know we're on right up till Saturday. 291 00:20:53,113 --> 00:20:56,867 -Does he look like a masochist? -Stop putting yourself down. 292 00:20:56,953 --> 00:20:59,308 Honestly. She's got no confidence, that one. 293 00:20:59,393 --> 00:21:02,624 -I don't know why. -No, because you were very good. 294 00:21:02,713 --> 00:21:05,147 You know, you put truth above technique, which is always.... 295 00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:09,306 I just stand there and say the lines. I'm not in Deirdre's league. 296 00:21:10,153 --> 00:21:12,747 But, you see, you've just got to set your sights higher. 297 00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:16,712 I mean, you don't want to be working in a greengrocer's all your life, do you? 298 00:21:18,913 --> 00:21:20,631 Well, you know what? 299 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,908 There's not a day goes by when I'm sitting there at home 300 00:21:22,993 --> 00:21:26,429 killing myself trying to please some dumb-ass TV critic 301 00:21:26,513 --> 00:21:29,107 and I don't wish I was out there on a market stall. 302 00:21:29,193 --> 00:21:32,469 Just weighing the carrots and the Jersey potatoes. 303 00:21:33,153 --> 00:21:36,429 Fabulous. Because, you know, the smell of those places is like heaven to me. 304 00:21:36,513 --> 00:21:38,868 You've got apples and peaches. 305 00:21:38,953 --> 00:21:42,582 -Those sweet little tomatoes on the vine. -And the grapefruit. 306 00:21:42,673 --> 00:21:44,982 -I absolutely adore. -The grapefruit! 307 00:21:45,073 --> 00:21:49,464 Well, yes, I suppose unless you are prepared to commit yourself 1 01 % . 308 00:21:49,553 --> 00:21:52,021 Like dossing under a railway bridge for two nights? 309 00:21:52,113 --> 00:21:54,832 -I thought this would come up. -Method acting. 310 00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:58,189 Before she could play a tramp, she had to find out what it was like. 311 00:21:58,273 --> 00:22:03,222 -What's the word? Empathise with the character. -Yes, and it was very valuable. 312 00:22:03,313 --> 00:22:06,862 You came home with dog puke in your hair and someone had nicked your wedding ring. 313 00:22:06,953 --> 00:22:09,228 Doesn't understand, you see, the process. 314 00:22:09,313 --> 00:22:12,225 And do you know what this part is that she's going up for tomorrow 315 00:22:12,313 --> 00:22:14,224 in this new teledrama? 316 00:22:14,713 --> 00:22:16,544 Naked corpse found floating in river. 317 00:22:17,353 --> 00:22:19,947 I'll tell you, I'm not letting you have a bath tonight. 318 00:22:20,033 --> 00:22:23,867 Yes, I had a thought about this. Now, tell me what you think. 319 00:22:23,953 --> 00:22:28,344 If, when they fish her out of the water, and see if you get the reference.... 320 00:22:34,713 --> 00:22:37,307 Battleship Potemkin, right? 321 00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:41,348 And then who was that woman? What did she do, put a dummy in the bed or something 322 00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:44,470 so her boyfriend wouldn't notice she was out all night? 323 00:22:44,553 --> 00:22:48,592 Oh, God, Marilyn Slater! You remember that story? 324 00:22:48,673 --> 00:22:52,507 Oh! Stuck that mannequin from the shop window in her bed. 325 00:22:52,593 --> 00:22:54,390 With her nightdress on! 326 00:22:54,473 --> 00:22:57,988 Went off with this bloke from head office and when she got back the next morning, 327 00:22:58,073 --> 00:23:01,543 her fella's only still lying there fast asleep with his arm round the dummy! 328 00:23:01,633 --> 00:23:06,149 Huge great smile on his face and the nightdress is on the floor! 329 00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:08,705 We all just died! 330 00:23:13,353 --> 00:23:16,743 Actually, she told me afterwards, she completely made that up. 331 00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:19,825 Trust you, Ali, to spoil a good story. 332 00:23:20,673 --> 00:23:22,152 Anyway, it doesn't sound 333 00:23:22,233 --> 00:23:24,906 as if you've been setting the world alight much in that department. 334 00:23:24,993 --> 00:23:28,906 -What have you taken Holy Orders or something? -Well, you know. 335 00:23:29,753 --> 00:23:33,951 I've had a few dodgy encounters just lately, which I know is all part of it. 336 00:23:34,033 --> 00:23:38,231 You're never going to find the right one till you've found all the wrong ones but.... 337 00:23:38,313 --> 00:23:43,103 The rate I'm going, by the time we meet, I think a love life will be out of the question. 338 00:23:43,993 --> 00:23:47,622 Because I certainly won't be able to take solids any more. Of any kind. 339 00:23:47,953 --> 00:23:49,181 Stop it. 340 00:23:50,033 --> 00:23:54,868 You know, life is complicated, even when you start out with the best intentions. 341 00:23:55,273 --> 00:23:58,265 It doesn't matter how much you try and control a relationship, 342 00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:02,107 it always ends up controlling you. And that can be wonderful. 343 00:24:03,593 --> 00:24:05,902 And difficult at the same time. 344 00:24:05,993 --> 00:24:07,108 Hmm. 345 00:24:08,673 --> 00:24:13,622 Right. So, do I get the feeling there's another woman involved here? 346 00:24:14,233 --> 00:24:16,986 -Somewhere. -Keep going. 347 00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:19,864 Not just any other woman. 348 00:24:20,273 --> 00:24:24,346 What Chas is trying to find a way not to tell you is that he's married to my mother. 349 00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:26,869 Oh, holy shit! 350 00:24:26,953 --> 00:24:28,944 Erm, as it were. 351 00:24:29,033 --> 00:24:33,072 Which, personally, I couldn't give a stuff about 'cause that's just the way it is, you know. 352 00:24:33,153 --> 00:24:37,385 So tough! I mean, things evolve between people. 353 00:24:37,473 --> 00:24:42,308 -We'd love it to be all neat and perfect, but.... -It's more sort of messy and horrible. 354 00:24:43,313 --> 00:24:47,226 What's deeply inconvenient, of course, is that she is worth a bob or two. 355 00:24:47,313 --> 00:24:50,908 And I imagine if she found out there was any hanky-panky.... 356 00:24:50,993 --> 00:24:54,190 Extramarital, semi-incestuous hanky-panky. 357 00:24:54,473 --> 00:24:56,862 That would be my inheritance down the Swanee. 358 00:24:57,593 --> 00:24:59,902 And yours as well, sadly, so.... 359 00:25:01,313 --> 00:25:05,352 But now! Talking about all of which, this will amuse you... 360 00:25:05,793 --> 00:25:08,432 as a lover of words, which I know you always were. 361 00:25:11,233 --> 00:25:13,701 It's her birthday this week, so.... 362 00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:17,506 Have a look at this, what I've written in her card. 363 00:25:18,633 --> 00:25:21,386 "Always so angelic, Mother, 364 00:25:21,473 --> 00:25:24,510 "unfailingly modest, yet of unquenchable spirit, 365 00:25:24,593 --> 00:25:26,709 "utterly, constantly kind." 366 00:25:27,793 --> 00:25:28,862 Very nice. 367 00:25:29,873 --> 00:25:31,909 Yeah, but it's an acrostic, look! 368 00:25:32,713 --> 00:25:34,943 Remember? You taught me about them. 369 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:39,868 If you take the first letter from each word, A-S-A-M-U.... 370 00:25:40,833 --> 00:25:42,710 Go on, see what it spells out. 371 00:25:43,353 --> 00:25:45,309 As a mum... 372 00:25:47,113 --> 00:25:48,944 you suck. 373 00:25:49,033 --> 00:25:50,261 You're evil. 374 00:25:50,353 --> 00:25:52,742 Yes, but that's the bit you like the best. 375 00:25:52,833 --> 00:25:57,065 I just thought! You know who might be a good bet for Ali is Garth. What do you reckon? 376 00:25:57,193 --> 00:26:01,072 -Garth? What is he, an American wrestler? -He's an artist. 377 00:26:01,153 --> 00:26:03,428 Very good one, and very successful. 378 00:26:04,073 --> 00:26:07,986 In fact, I'm going round to see his new collection tomorrow night, you should come along. 379 00:26:08,073 --> 00:26:11,702 'Cause, hey, listen, we have got to get you sorted out. 380 00:26:11,993 --> 00:26:15,224 You're kidding! You performed that play in a prison? 381 00:26:15,873 --> 00:26:18,945 My God. You think they all got the existentialist undertow? 382 00:26:19,033 --> 00:26:23,549 They were actually a very attentive audience. And you even got a few fan letters afterwards. 383 00:26:23,633 --> 00:26:24,907 I did. 384 00:26:24,993 --> 00:26:29,942 In fact, there's one young chap in there, Rufus, now writes to me on a regular basis, so.... 385 00:26:31,833 --> 00:26:36,429 I suppose, at least you feel you are bringing a little bit of culture into people's lives. 386 00:26:36,873 --> 00:26:40,468 Excuse me interrupting. It is Gil Raymond. 387 00:26:41,313 --> 00:26:44,066 I thought so. You don't remember me. 388 00:26:44,673 --> 00:26:46,629 Ye.... Erm.... 389 00:26:46,953 --> 00:26:48,272 Colin Dewhurst. 390 00:26:48,353 --> 00:26:51,106 -I used to clean your windows. -Oh, yeah. 391 00:26:51,233 --> 00:26:54,191 -How are you? -I'm all right, as it happens, thank you. 392 00:26:54,313 --> 00:26:56,747 So you're still writing the comedy shows, then? 393 00:26:56,833 --> 00:26:59,984 -For TV? -Yeah, still scribbling away. 394 00:27:00,073 --> 00:27:04,430 Because that was a funny one last year, wasn't it? The one about the window cleaner 395 00:27:04,513 --> 00:27:06,663 who was a complete dickhead. 396 00:27:06,753 --> 00:27:10,143 Oh, yeah, but no way was that based on any one person.... 397 00:27:10,233 --> 00:27:14,385 Oh, really? So how come you put in all those personal references to me, then? 398 00:27:14,473 --> 00:27:16,623 -Personal references? -How did that line go? 399 00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:20,064 "Oh, I'll give my right bollock now for a pint of beer." 400 00:27:20,753 --> 00:27:22,709 I really don't know what you're talking about. 401 00:27:22,793 --> 00:27:26,183 Oh, you don't know? Well, I had a malignant testicle removed. 402 00:27:26,273 --> 00:27:30,903 -You knew nothing about that, I suppose? -No! I did not. 403 00:27:30,993 --> 00:27:33,632 -You think cancer's funny, do you? -Absolutely not! 404 00:27:33,713 --> 00:27:36,989 If you knew how terrifying that is to me. Just the word. 405 00:27:37,073 --> 00:27:42,784 Look, I'll make a donation or something. Whatever, 'cause.... 406 00:27:43,793 --> 00:27:45,545 Okay, well... 407 00:27:46,433 --> 00:27:48,867 if you want to do something to help, 408 00:27:48,953 --> 00:27:51,262 you could start with our fundraiser this week 'cause.... 409 00:27:51,353 --> 00:27:52,752 Your fundraiser? 410 00:27:52,833 --> 00:27:55,586 Our fundraiser for Testes Awareness. 411 00:27:56,673 --> 00:28:00,586 If you could get one of your celebrity friends to come along 412 00:28:00,673 --> 00:28:02,948 and perform for us or something. 413 00:28:04,393 --> 00:28:07,783 Billy Connolly or someone. 414 00:28:23,473 --> 00:28:25,304 You are winding us up? 415 00:28:25,393 --> 00:28:28,191 She just sat down and went? With you standing there? 416 00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:30,264 Talk about staring into the eye of a storm. 417 00:28:30,353 --> 00:28:33,823 And just kept right on talking, she didn't miss a beat. 418 00:28:34,073 --> 00:28:39,431 -I suppose men do it in front of each other. -Men do a lot of strange things in lavatories. 419 00:28:39,513 --> 00:28:41,629 Some of them involving bluebottles. 420 00:28:41,713 --> 00:28:43,669 God, I couldn't even watch myself. 421 00:28:43,753 --> 00:28:46,586 If I go into a bathroom with mirrors, I have to keep my eyes closed. 422 00:28:46,673 --> 00:28:48,550 How do you see where you're going? 423 00:28:48,633 --> 00:28:52,308 You think I'm going to take a wrong turning halfway through and end up in a plant pot? 424 00:28:52,393 --> 00:28:56,102 That's not the point. The point is what it said about her attitude to me. 425 00:28:56,193 --> 00:29:01,426 It's like she's re-attached herself to me now in that awful way as part of the sisterhood. 426 00:29:01,753 --> 00:29:04,825 And she thinks I'm going to see the whole world the way she sees it. 427 00:29:04,913 --> 00:29:06,665 When the truth of it is.... 428 00:29:06,753 --> 00:29:11,383 I don't know, she just seems to have turned into this really horrible person 429 00:29:11,473 --> 00:29:13,748 I just can't relate to anymore. 430 00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:16,787 Maybe you never knew her as well as you thought you did. 431 00:29:16,873 --> 00:29:18,022 Maybe I didn't. 432 00:29:19,313 --> 00:29:22,623 And now she's trying to fix me up with this artist friend of hers 433 00:29:22,713 --> 00:29:26,103 which, as usual, I was completely unable to say no to, so.... 434 00:29:26,193 --> 00:29:27,228 WOMAN: Excuse me? 435 00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:30,349 ALI: Hello! Nice to see you again. 436 00:29:30,593 --> 00:29:33,187 What kind of things with bluebottles? 437 00:29:43,553 --> 00:29:46,226 No, I tried him, he's out of the country. 438 00:29:46,313 --> 00:29:49,305 Yeah, I tried her as well. I've tried everyone. 439 00:29:50,153 --> 00:29:53,987 No, okay then, Griff. Thanks anyway. Bye for now. 440 00:30:00,593 --> 00:30:03,630 Oh, God. Why did he have to tell me all that stuff? 441 00:30:04,113 --> 00:30:08,629 Testes Awareness, is that a joke? Who's not aware? 442 00:30:09,833 --> 00:30:13,951 Now I gotta keep checking down there every five minutes. It's become an obsession. 443 00:30:16,033 --> 00:30:19,264 Billy Connolly. Is he kidding? They'll be lucky to get Bernie Clifton. 444 00:30:19,353 --> 00:30:23,744 -Is he the one with the ostrich? -Sorry? Oh, hi. 445 00:30:24,713 --> 00:30:29,468 So, how did it all go? The audition you went to for this new TV drama? 446 00:30:29,553 --> 00:30:32,386 Yes! Very well, I think, actually. 447 00:30:32,793 --> 00:30:35,432 Of course, she doesn't ever get to speak, this woman. 448 00:30:35,513 --> 00:30:39,267 -Naked corpse found in river. -But there is quite a history to the character 449 00:30:39,353 --> 00:30:42,902 that comes out during the programme, which I did my best to communicate. 450 00:30:43,313 --> 00:30:47,625 Basically, I just had to lie down on the floor, face up and then face down, 451 00:30:47,713 --> 00:30:51,626 while they went all round me with a little camcorder, shooting me from every angle. 452 00:30:51,713 --> 00:30:53,351 And that was it really. 453 00:30:53,433 --> 00:30:56,948 And then I just put all my clothes back on and they said they'd let me know. 454 00:30:58,593 --> 00:31:00,026 Uh-huh. 455 00:31:00,113 --> 00:31:02,104 So now we keep our fingers crossed. 456 00:31:02,633 --> 00:31:06,592 Anyway, thanks again for the show last night. It was nice meeting Paul. 457 00:31:06,673 --> 00:31:08,550 He seems like a regular guy. 458 00:31:08,633 --> 00:31:13,502 Well, do you know what, Gil? I'm actually going to be very frank with you now when I say this. 459 00:31:13,593 --> 00:31:17,984 But when my career is up and running, I'm afraid I don't see Paul there at my side. 460 00:31:18,633 --> 00:31:22,148 Because, you see, basically I know he doesn't respect what I do. 461 00:31:22,233 --> 00:31:25,031 He respects me, but not what I do. 462 00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:29,308 And so, I mean, how could that ever work? It couldn't. 463 00:31:29,393 --> 00:31:33,511 Of course, I can't just leave him, obviously. That would be cruel, but... 464 00:31:33,953 --> 00:31:37,502 what I can do is sow some seeds and hope they'll grow. 465 00:31:38,473 --> 00:31:41,465 Right. Do I follow that? I don't think I do. 466 00:31:41,553 --> 00:31:44,625 Well, you know who I think would be perfect for him is Becky. 467 00:31:45,313 --> 00:31:46,951 Lovely Becky who you met. 468 00:31:47,033 --> 00:31:50,150 I actually don't think they'd take that much coaxing to get together. 469 00:31:50,233 --> 00:31:53,225 I can just very subtly keep nudging them along. 470 00:31:53,313 --> 00:31:56,783 Like putting two giant pandas in a cage and hoping they mate. 471 00:31:57,473 --> 00:31:59,543 I suppose a little bit like that, but.... 472 00:32:00,873 --> 00:32:02,272 Let's leave it, I think. 473 00:32:02,353 --> 00:32:06,266 'Cause if that's my ex-window cleaner.... I'm sorry, I have no news for you yet. 474 00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,511 Hi, this is Gil Raymond. Please leave a message after the tone. 475 00:32:10,713 --> 00:32:13,830 Yes, this is a message for Gil. It's Pascal Peters. 476 00:32:13,913 --> 00:32:15,904 Gil, I'm so sorry about last night. 477 00:32:15,993 --> 00:32:19,668 Actually, it was the weirdest thing happened to me, right at the last minute, 478 00:32:19,753 --> 00:32:21,744 which I'll tell you all about when I see you. 479 00:32:21,833 --> 00:32:25,109 If you still want to see me. I'm praying that you do. 480 00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:28,390 I've spoken to Lloyd. He said why don't we all meet up tonight for a meal? 481 00:32:28,473 --> 00:32:30,987 I think he wants to bring someone as well. 482 00:32:31,073 --> 00:32:34,463 Anyway, please give me a ring and tell me I'm forgiven. 483 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:37,545 Hope to speak to you soon. Lots of love. Bye. 484 00:32:38,913 --> 00:32:42,542 Wow! Pascal Peters. Was that really her? 485 00:32:42,633 --> 00:32:45,272 My God, you've got to call her back. Immediately! 486 00:32:45,913 --> 00:32:47,346 And Garth. 487 00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:52,266 I want you to meet Alice, who is one of my oldest friends. 488 00:32:52,353 --> 00:32:54,389 -I'm not that old. -Alice, how are you? 489 00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:58,944 -I'm feeling very old. -And is Chas not with you tonight? 490 00:32:59,033 --> 00:33:00,785 Couldn't make it I'm afraid, no. 491 00:33:00,873 --> 00:33:03,148 Of course, on Friday the dreaded woman comes back from Italy. 492 00:33:03,233 --> 00:33:05,383 So we're probably just gonna have a day to ourselves. 493 00:33:05,473 --> 00:33:08,431 Tomorrow in the garden, or something, and just chill out, whatever. 494 00:33:10,553 --> 00:33:11,872 Erm.... 495 00:33:11,953 --> 00:33:15,229 Actually I just need to pop to the loo. I'll be back in a second. 496 00:33:19,193 --> 00:33:22,185 So...I don't know what to say. 497 00:33:22,713 --> 00:33:27,707 I mean, you must be heartbroken. Was this all your work? It's terrible! 498 00:33:28,433 --> 00:33:32,745 What happened? Someone just broke into the gallery, presumably, and.... 499 00:33:34,433 --> 00:33:36,947 Oh, no. No, this is my work. 500 00:33:37,953 --> 00:33:40,103 This is how it's meant to look. 501 00:33:40,193 --> 00:33:43,071 I deliberately place defaced art in front of the viewer 502 00:33:43,153 --> 00:33:45,064 to help them question their attitude towards it. 503 00:33:45,153 --> 00:33:48,702 Generally speaking, we all rush to the defence of something that's been vandalised. 504 00:33:48,793 --> 00:33:50,272 I hope we do, anyway. 505 00:33:50,353 --> 00:33:55,552 This way you get people to notice things that they'd otherwise just walk straight past. 506 00:33:57,113 --> 00:34:02,631 So you're sort of playing devil's advocate in a way to try and stimulate their interest? 507 00:34:04,033 --> 00:34:07,787 That's exactly it. Did you read that in my notes? 508 00:34:08,553 --> 00:34:09,668 Notes? 509 00:34:11,953 --> 00:34:14,626 It doesn't sound as if you need them, but.... 510 00:34:16,033 --> 00:34:19,787 So, you and Suzanne were together in Harrods, is that right? 511 00:34:19,873 --> 00:34:24,503 Well, she was together, I was never that together. Usually more falling apart at the seams. 512 00:34:25,113 --> 00:34:26,990 I mean, she's great. 513 00:34:27,393 --> 00:34:29,111 Oh, absolutely. 514 00:34:29,753 --> 00:34:31,664 She's great, but... 515 00:34:32,273 --> 00:34:36,585 between you and me, I don't care much for the way she treats certain people. 516 00:34:36,673 --> 00:34:40,746 Her poor mother, for instance, would be devastated if she knew what she gets up to. 517 00:34:40,833 --> 00:34:43,825 Or maybe I'm just out of step with what's acceptable these days. 518 00:34:43,913 --> 00:34:47,269 Oh, God, I'm so glad to hear someone else say that. 519 00:34:47,353 --> 00:34:49,867 You start to worry you're turning into Mary Poppins. 520 00:34:50,873 --> 00:34:54,388 It's like you can be copulating with your best friend's donkey now 521 00:34:54,473 --> 00:34:56,384 and no one turns a hair. 522 00:34:57,673 --> 00:35:01,427 This is very rude of me... I haven't offered you a drink. 523 00:35:53,473 --> 00:35:57,989 Just saw your friend out there, driving past. Mr Raymond. 524 00:35:58,073 --> 00:35:59,426 Oh, really? 525 00:36:01,913 --> 00:36:05,462 I don't suppose he said anything about coming back again? 526 00:36:05,913 --> 00:36:09,110 I shouldn't think so with Pascal Peters drooling all over him. 527 00:36:10,273 --> 00:36:13,470 Be enough to keep any man busy. You know who I mean? 528 00:36:13,633 --> 00:36:15,589 She is a walking sex machine. 529 00:36:23,433 --> 00:36:27,312 I don't know, I just think it's got to be one of the great lifestyles 530 00:36:27,393 --> 00:36:32,308 to just get up every morning and spend all your time being really creative. 531 00:36:32,433 --> 00:36:34,151 And getting paid for it. I know. 532 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:36,872 I have to keep reminding myself how very lucky I am. 533 00:36:36,953 --> 00:36:39,069 You could be working down a mine. 534 00:36:39,153 --> 00:36:42,543 Just crawling about in the dark all day in the bowels of the earth. 535 00:36:42,633 --> 00:36:46,103 Can you imagine what a nightmare that would be? Dead canaries everywhere. 536 00:36:47,193 --> 00:36:52,062 Well, not for me really because potholing and caving 537 00:36:52,153 --> 00:36:54,064 are a bit of a passion of mine. 538 00:36:54,153 --> 00:36:56,428 Give me a torch and a hard hat, I'm down there. 539 00:36:56,513 --> 00:37:00,301 -Actually, it's great fun. You should try it. -God, I'd have to kill myself. 540 00:37:00,393 --> 00:37:03,908 -I can barely travel on the Tube. -Well, that's another story. 541 00:37:03,993 --> 00:37:07,110 Okay, as you two have completely ignored me all evening, 542 00:37:07,193 --> 00:37:11,152 -I think I'm gonna shoot off now so.... -Go on, then, bugger off with you. 543 00:37:11,513 --> 00:37:14,550 -And you can give me a ring in the morning. -Maybe, I'll see. 544 00:37:15,313 --> 00:37:17,827 Yeah, okay, then. Bye. 545 00:37:17,913 --> 00:37:19,232 -Bye. -Bye. 546 00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:25,548 So, have you got to be anywhere special? Or can I get you another coffee? 547 00:37:25,993 --> 00:37:29,702 Okay, petal, no problem, yes. Actually he's just walked in, so.... 548 00:37:29,793 --> 00:37:32,102 No, no, I'm sure he'll understand. 549 00:37:32,193 --> 00:37:35,026 Yeah, I'll give him a big wet one on the lips from you. 550 00:37:35,113 --> 00:37:37,946 Okay. You take care then. Bye. 551 00:37:38,353 --> 00:37:39,786 Don't tell me. 552 00:37:39,873 --> 00:37:43,388 She's had to get on a plane to New Mexico. Someone's dropped out of a car commercial. 553 00:37:43,473 --> 00:37:45,191 They should have been wearing a seatbelt. 554 00:37:45,273 --> 00:37:47,992 What's she going to do? It's 20 grand to cock her leg over a bonnet 555 00:37:48,073 --> 00:37:50,587 and she'll ring you the minute she gets back. 556 00:37:50,673 --> 00:37:53,949 Yeah? Well, I'm starting to wonder now if she's ever gonna.... 557 00:37:55,633 --> 00:37:57,191 Is that.... 558 00:37:57,353 --> 00:37:59,389 That can't be who I think it is. 559 00:38:00,793 --> 00:38:04,229 you were bringing Angie O'Hara tonight? 560 00:38:04,313 --> 00:38:05,792 I would never have come! 561 00:38:05,873 --> 00:38:10,549 Well, why not? She's delightful company, a very sexy lady still. 562 00:38:10,913 --> 00:38:13,746 Did you ever see her in that bank-caper movie in the '80s 563 00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:16,347 where she did this striptease to Honky Tonk Women? 564 00:38:16,433 --> 00:38:18,503 I not only saw it, I had the video! 565 00:38:18,593 --> 00:38:21,585 And that's the very reason I could never go near the woman. 566 00:38:21,673 --> 00:38:24,824 Because of what happened at the very tender age I was then. 567 00:38:25,113 --> 00:38:28,947 Not once but many times I have to say when I watched her in that scene. 568 00:38:29,273 --> 00:38:32,265 Because, you know, it was very erotic. 569 00:38:32,913 --> 00:38:35,632 -Are we talking about.... -Hell, Lloyd, 570 00:38:35,713 --> 00:38:38,750 you're asking me to sit and have dinner with her? She's gonna know! 571 00:38:38,833 --> 00:38:42,382 -How will she know? -Well, I'll know and that's just as bad. 572 00:38:47,953 --> 00:38:49,909 How do I get into these situations? 573 00:38:51,273 --> 00:38:54,026 No, I don't think I ever did see that film. When was that? 574 00:38:54,113 --> 00:38:56,866 Oh, er...July or August sometime, I think. 575 00:38:56,953 --> 00:39:00,263 Yes, because we went to see it on Cleo's birthday at the Odeon Marble Arch. 576 00:39:00,353 --> 00:39:03,425 Right, 'cause I spent most of last summer in the Florida Keys. 577 00:39:03,513 --> 00:39:07,472 -Really? I bet that was nice. -Yeah, a few of us rented a boat. 578 00:39:07,553 --> 00:39:10,704 We took it all the way up to the Panhandle then right round the Gulf. 579 00:39:10,793 --> 00:39:13,830 Caught some incredible snapper. And I tell you, the diving.... 580 00:39:13,913 --> 00:39:18,111 A friend of mine got hold of a submersible which takes you down 400 fathoms, 581 00:39:18,193 --> 00:39:21,822 absolutely pitch black, and enough pressure to crush a man's skull. 582 00:39:21,913 --> 00:39:26,828 It was amazing. The stuff you see down there. I mean, if you ever get the chance.... 583 00:39:27,713 --> 00:39:31,023 So what do you do, anyway, in your leisure time? Do you manage to get away much? 584 00:39:32,353 --> 00:39:36,585 Well...it's been a while, I've got to say. 585 00:39:37,393 --> 00:39:41,147 I suppose I've never been one for travelling very far on my own. 586 00:39:41,233 --> 00:39:44,828 I always think unless you've got someone to share it with.... 587 00:39:44,913 --> 00:39:47,950 I know what you mean. But funnily enough, 588 00:39:48,033 --> 00:39:51,662 some of the best times for me have been when I just decided to take off 589 00:39:51,753 --> 00:39:55,428 and just head for the Skagerrak or somewhere, and do a bit of climbing. 590 00:39:55,553 --> 00:39:59,751 You know, when you're dug in, up there on the rock face in a force nine gale, 591 00:39:59,833 --> 00:40:01,710 that is such a primal rush. 592 00:40:01,793 --> 00:40:05,388 You're not worrying about anything except, "Will I get out of this alive?" 593 00:40:06,833 --> 00:40:07,982 Excuse me. 594 00:40:08,793 --> 00:40:13,662 Jamie! Sorry we missed each other. Just wanted to check we were still on for Friday. 595 00:40:13,993 --> 00:40:15,187 Yeah. 596 00:40:15,273 --> 00:40:18,026 I thought we could just throw the mountain bikes in the car 597 00:40:18,113 --> 00:40:20,069 and be down in Exmoor by about 1 0:00. 598 00:40:20,153 --> 00:40:23,589 Okay, why don't you check with Jill and get back to me? 599 00:40:23,673 --> 00:40:25,152 Okay. Bye. 600 00:40:28,433 --> 00:40:31,505 I think I may have done something stupid with my right shoulder. 601 00:40:31,593 --> 00:40:34,232 -Scuba diving in the Sahara? -Sorry? 602 00:40:34,753 --> 00:40:37,790 No, I think it might've been from starting the lawnmower. 603 00:40:38,753 --> 00:40:39,902 Oh, right. 604 00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:46,869 Actually, Garth, I think it's probably time I was going. 605 00:40:48,353 --> 00:40:52,631 -So, Gil, what are you up to at the moment? -I was just adjusting my napkin. 606 00:40:53,473 --> 00:40:54,792 Oh, did you.... 607 00:40:55,393 --> 00:40:57,702 Well, I'm still struggling to write something 608 00:40:57,793 --> 00:41:01,468 for this Love Soup project Lloyd's putting together, which.... 609 00:41:02,153 --> 00:41:07,102 Actually, there's material for a whole plot in this woman I've got painting my cupboard... 610 00:41:07,833 --> 00:41:10,711 who's living in this tragic Norma Desmond fantasy world. 611 00:41:11,513 --> 00:41:15,222 Except I'm very wary now about basing things on real people 'cause... 612 00:41:15,313 --> 00:41:17,952 they just turn up in pubs later on and humiliate me. 613 00:41:18,633 --> 00:41:21,511 Incidentally, you didn't come up with any names for me there, I suppose? 614 00:41:21,593 --> 00:41:25,711 Well, you know, it's very short notice. Have you checked out Bernie Clifton at all? 615 00:41:26,913 --> 00:41:31,668 Oh, er, yes, Angie, Gil was saying earlier how much he loved 616 00:41:31,753 --> 00:41:34,187 what you did with Honky Tonk Women. 617 00:41:34,273 --> 00:41:37,583 Strewth! You must have been about 1 0. 618 00:41:37,673 --> 00:41:42,189 Thereabouts, but I'm sure you hate being reminded of all that. 619 00:41:42,273 --> 00:41:45,549 Not one bit. I'll take all the compliments that are going. 620 00:41:45,633 --> 00:41:50,024 At my age they don't come along that often. So what's wrong with milking it I say. 621 00:41:50,113 --> 00:41:53,628 There you go, straight from Angie O'Hara. There's nothing wrong with milking it. 622 00:41:53,713 --> 00:41:56,864 It's good to milk it. So milk away. 623 00:41:56,953 --> 00:42:01,390 I tell a lie. I had an email from a guy a couple of weeks ago about that film, 624 00:42:01,473 --> 00:42:03,464 asking me if my breasts were real. 625 00:42:04,553 --> 00:42:07,943 I wrote back saying my breasts were real, but the rest of me was false. 626 00:42:08,033 --> 00:42:12,072 He put "To Angie O'Plasty" 'cause I nearly gave him a heart attack. 627 00:42:12,713 --> 00:42:15,307 Are you serious? People out there have got your email address? 628 00:42:15,393 --> 00:42:18,624 God, I'm an email junkie. I mean, I love it. 629 00:42:18,713 --> 00:42:20,908 The way you can just fire off a message now. 630 00:42:20,993 --> 00:42:23,666 You just tap it in and press a key and it's gone. It's fab! 631 00:42:23,753 --> 00:42:27,268 Yeah, except, speed isn't everything of course. 632 00:42:27,353 --> 00:42:29,184 How do you mean? 633 00:42:29,273 --> 00:42:32,629 I don't know, it's all misspellings and bad grammar. 634 00:42:32,713 --> 00:42:35,068 No one seems to check anything anymore. 635 00:42:35,153 --> 00:42:37,792 Everything's the first thing that comes into your mind. 636 00:42:37,873 --> 00:42:39,352 There's no time to think. 637 00:42:39,433 --> 00:42:43,062 Well, I suppose that depends how slow your brain is. 638 00:42:43,153 --> 00:42:44,984 You look at the way my two sons use it, 639 00:42:45,073 --> 00:42:48,463 their minds are just racing the whole time. Faster than they can type. 640 00:42:48,553 --> 00:42:53,104 -The ground they cover is incredible. -Well, I just see all that sloppiness now. 641 00:42:53,633 --> 00:42:57,182 Everywhere. I mean, what's a "1 0% service change"? 642 00:42:57,433 --> 00:43:00,311 I suppose words are your business. 643 00:43:01,233 --> 00:43:04,589 While, of course, mine's all about ideas. 644 00:43:04,753 --> 00:43:08,541 And how to communicate on a more intuitive level so.... 645 00:43:09,233 --> 00:43:13,146 Or maybe you're just not quite ready for the 21 st century, Gil. 646 00:43:13,713 --> 00:43:15,146 Maybe that's it. 647 00:43:15,713 --> 00:43:19,228 So once you pointed that out about him, well, that was it, wasn't it? 648 00:43:19,313 --> 00:43:21,224 There was no way I could do it anymore. 649 00:43:21,313 --> 00:43:24,225 -Play his recorder? -You know. 650 00:43:24,873 --> 00:43:28,468 Why did you have to tell me that? We were getting on fine until then. 651 00:43:29,153 --> 00:43:33,032 And then when we were in the restaurant, he broke open that bread roll.... 652 00:43:33,113 --> 00:43:36,185 I knew I'd got no chance and it was never gonna work. 653 00:43:36,273 --> 00:43:40,551 Oh, Milly. So that was it, then? Your last supper together. 654 00:43:41,393 --> 00:43:43,543 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! That was unfair. 655 00:43:46,593 --> 00:43:50,381 God, you two! I can't leave this counter for a minute, can I? 656 00:43:55,473 --> 00:43:56,792 Whoo! 657 00:43:57,953 --> 00:44:00,911 I know I said tomorrow but I suddenly had some free time. 658 00:44:00,993 --> 00:44:04,827 Wondered if I could just finish off the varnishing this morning instead? 659 00:44:04,913 --> 00:44:09,031 Right. Well, actually Deirdre, now's not the best moment 660 00:44:09,113 --> 00:44:13,345 'cause Pascal just flew back in from the States last night, 661 00:44:13,433 --> 00:44:17,346 and in a rash moment I said I'd cook us some spaghetti puttanesca. 662 00:44:17,433 --> 00:44:20,982 Which could be the worst decision of my life because now my battery's dead 663 00:44:21,073 --> 00:44:24,270 and I'm running really late and I've still gotta vacuum the house, 664 00:44:24,353 --> 00:44:27,948 and scrub the toilet, and shower and shave. It's gonna be a bloodbath. 665 00:44:28,033 --> 00:44:31,264 God. Well, you're going to need some help, then, by the sound of it. 666 00:44:31,353 --> 00:44:33,628 Come on, jump in. I'll give you a hand. 667 00:44:54,313 --> 00:44:58,864 -They're so pretty. -I know. Aren't they divine? Really lovely. 668 00:44:59,353 --> 00:45:01,867 Oh, here she is. Long time no see. 669 00:45:01,953 --> 00:45:07,027 Mum, I don't know if you remember Ali at all from absolutely way back? My mother, Eileen. 670 00:45:07,113 --> 00:45:11,868 I do, indeed! And gosh, you're not looking a day older, Alice. How are you? 671 00:45:11,953 --> 00:45:14,672 God, you can come back again. Thank you. 672 00:45:14,753 --> 00:45:16,789 And where's it you've been, Italy? Did it go well? 673 00:45:16,873 --> 00:45:19,831 She brought me back these lovely white diamond earrings, aren't they sweet? 674 00:45:19,913 --> 00:45:23,349 And you won't have met my second husband, of course. Charles. 675 00:45:24,153 --> 00:45:26,303 Actually, yes. We have met. 676 00:45:28,633 --> 00:45:33,627 I can't remember when, but I'm sure I've seen you at the counter before, haven't I? 677 00:45:34,633 --> 00:45:36,828 Probably buying something nice for your wife. 678 00:45:36,913 --> 00:45:40,952 Anyway, I'm sorry it didn't work out with Garth. I gather he was a bit too gung-ho in the end. 679 00:45:41,033 --> 00:45:45,424 Well, yes. I thought it best to wait till I've got my bungee-jumping certificate.... 680 00:45:45,513 --> 00:45:47,822 -Oh, no! -What is it? 681 00:45:47,913 --> 00:45:52,429 Oh, God, no! I think the stone's just come out somehow. 682 00:45:52,513 --> 00:45:55,471 -Where on earth's that gone? -No. Oh, dear.... 683 00:46:00,193 --> 00:46:02,423 -Oh.... -CHARLES: Right. Right.... 684 00:46:02,513 --> 00:46:05,869 Okay, don't panic. Look, it'll be in here somewhere. 685 00:46:06,353 --> 00:46:10,869 We just need to sort it all out very carefully. Is there somewhere else we could go to? 686 00:46:11,593 --> 00:46:14,869 Erm, yes, probably the stockroom, perhaps? 687 00:46:14,953 --> 00:46:18,389 Okay, well.... No, I'm sure it'll be there, don't worry. 688 00:46:18,473 --> 00:46:21,192 I've got to pop off and collect something upstairs so... 689 00:46:21,273 --> 00:46:23,264 I'll see you back here in half an hour. 690 00:46:32,713 --> 00:46:35,671 God, I'll feel terrible if we can't find it. 691 00:46:36,473 --> 00:46:39,306 Don't feel terrible, it's here. 692 00:46:41,553 --> 00:46:44,943 Look, we've got a bit of a crisis actually and we need your help. 693 00:46:45,033 --> 00:46:47,706 Come on, don't just stand there, get your trousers down. 694 00:47:00,113 --> 00:47:03,708 You know, I really appreciate this. Hm, that smells very good. 695 00:47:03,793 --> 00:47:06,910 Absolutely no problem. Now, what time's she arriving, the lovely Pascal? 696 00:47:06,993 --> 00:47:09,905 -I would say just about any second. -So I better make myself scarce. 697 00:47:09,993 --> 00:47:12,871 Obviously, I've not put your pasta on, you'll have to sort that out. 698 00:47:12,953 --> 00:47:15,308 Make sure it's nice and al dente. 699 00:47:16,753 --> 00:47:18,027 Oh, that's mine. 700 00:47:21,633 --> 00:47:26,388 My God, it's them! It's the production company. This'll be about my screen test. 701 00:47:28,593 --> 00:47:31,187 Hello? Yes! Deirdre Gilpin speaking. 702 00:47:34,473 --> 00:47:39,308 Okay. Right. I do now see the problem. 703 00:47:41,393 --> 00:47:44,624 I suppose if you are going to end up naked together on the lawn 704 00:47:44,713 --> 00:47:48,626 in blazing hot sunshine, this is always going to be a risk. 705 00:47:48,913 --> 00:47:51,632 I wasn't even aware I was resting it there. 706 00:47:51,713 --> 00:47:54,750 I mean, we were just both so zonked out afterwards. 707 00:47:54,833 --> 00:47:57,472 I think we just fell asleep for the best part of an hour. 708 00:47:57,553 --> 00:48:01,910 And didn't even notice this, did we, till we were going to bed the other night. 709 00:48:01,993 --> 00:48:06,225 -And she's not had a chance to see it as yet? -She only got off the plane this morning. 710 00:48:06,313 --> 00:48:10,431 But you've got all kinds of creams and stuff here, right? For fake tans and.... 711 00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:12,424 I mean, there must be something in this room. 712 00:48:14,713 --> 00:48:18,672 No, no, not at all. That's.... No, thank you for letting me know. 713 00:48:19,353 --> 00:48:20,422 Hm-mm. 714 00:48:20,513 --> 00:48:21,832 Okay, bye. 715 00:48:27,913 --> 00:48:32,111 Hey, look. That's one part, there'll be others. 716 00:48:32,633 --> 00:48:36,706 It's the part of a corpse! She doesn't even speak or move! 717 00:48:36,793 --> 00:48:41,787 I can't even do that! I can't even play a woman who's dead! 718 00:48:44,393 --> 00:48:48,944 Well, that's, you know, ridiculous. Of course you can, I mean.... 719 00:48:49,233 --> 00:48:51,144 You know, you're.... 720 00:48:58,193 --> 00:49:01,185 -Where is she? -Sorry. Who exactly are you.... 721 00:49:01,633 --> 00:49:03,749 -Hey, excuse me? -Deirdre. 722 00:49:05,913 --> 00:49:07,426 Deirdre Gilpin? 723 00:49:08,153 --> 00:49:10,906 I'm Rufus Parry. You come did that play for us in the prison. 724 00:49:10,993 --> 00:49:14,781 -Then wrote me all those letters? -Rufus! Rufus, yes! 725 00:49:15,313 --> 00:49:18,032 And this is my good friend Gil, who's.... 726 00:49:18,113 --> 00:49:21,344 Gosh, I had no idea you were even out and about now. 727 00:49:21,433 --> 00:49:24,743 I got out this morning. And you were the first person I had to come and see. 728 00:49:24,833 --> 00:49:27,745 Really! Well, that's.... Really? 729 00:49:27,833 --> 00:49:31,872 I thought maybe you could put me up because obviously they are going be looking for me now. 730 00:49:31,953 --> 00:49:35,707 So you haven't actually been released then, as such? 731 00:49:35,793 --> 00:49:38,353 When I'm doing 20 for armed robbery? Get real. 732 00:49:38,433 --> 00:49:41,231 No, it's like, till you come along, 733 00:49:41,313 --> 00:49:45,465 inside or outside, my life was a sack of shit. Either way, you know? 734 00:49:45,993 --> 00:49:48,223 Well, what a nice thing to say. 735 00:49:48,633 --> 00:49:52,228 So, yeah, I knocked off this Honda in Willesden and headed straight out to your place. 736 00:49:52,313 --> 00:49:56,022 Got there just as you're driving off as it happens. So then I followed you down here, 737 00:49:56,113 --> 00:50:00,265 lost you for a bit in the village till I saw your car again outside and.... 738 00:50:00,353 --> 00:50:03,470 Do you know, ever since you sent me this... 739 00:50:04,153 --> 00:50:06,508 I kept it under my pillow every night. 740 00:50:06,593 --> 00:50:09,983 "To Rufus, with huge love and a million kisses." 741 00:50:10,073 --> 00:50:13,349 I kept it under my pillow so when I went to sleep I'd dream about you. 742 00:50:13,433 --> 00:50:17,870 See, 'cause I knew...when I saw you on that stage, you had something special. 743 00:50:17,953 --> 00:50:21,582 And you were going to be really special to me one day because.... 744 00:50:23,393 --> 00:50:25,304 -What are those? -Sorry? 745 00:50:26,713 --> 00:50:30,592 -You don't wear glasses. -Well, in my photographs not usually, but.... 746 00:50:30,673 --> 00:50:32,743 You weren't wearing them in the play. 747 00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:34,744 Yes, I was actually, if you think about it. 748 00:50:34,833 --> 00:50:37,267 Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no. 749 00:50:37,353 --> 00:50:40,550 What you telling me? You were the one with the glasses? 750 00:50:41,233 --> 00:50:44,305 -But you were crap! -Hey, I think you're being a little unkind.... 751 00:50:44,393 --> 00:50:48,068 She was rubbish! Even I could see! A complete embarrassment next to the other girl. 752 00:50:48,193 --> 00:50:52,106 Oi! What do you think you're doing, you little prick? 753 00:50:52,313 --> 00:50:54,907 You trying to shop me, yeah? You trying to turn me in? 754 00:50:54,993 --> 00:50:58,906 -I'll take your bleeding head off! -No, please don't! Please let him go, Rufus! 755 00:51:00,473 --> 00:51:04,307 The quality of mercy is not strained It droppeth as the gentle rain.... 756 00:51:04,393 --> 00:51:06,509 Shut your bloody row up, you gormless cow! 757 00:51:07,873 --> 00:51:09,625 This is the pits. 758 00:51:10,353 --> 00:51:13,072 Nine months! And I thought I was writing to the.... 759 00:51:19,633 --> 00:51:21,783 God! How sad am I? 760 00:51:23,873 --> 00:51:25,147 Ah, shit! 761 00:51:34,313 --> 00:51:38,101 Well, as a piece of invisible mending, that's as good as you'll get. 762 00:51:39,713 --> 00:51:44,389 But I'd hang on to these, for a couple of weeks, for any repair work. 763 00:51:45,233 --> 00:51:48,942 -Ali, you are a star turn, what can we say? -I owe you one. 764 00:51:49,033 --> 00:51:51,024 Well, let's not go that far. I mean... 765 00:51:51,113 --> 00:51:53,991 -You've definitely saved my bacon. -Oh, good. 766 00:51:56,713 --> 00:51:59,147 That makes me feel so much better. 767 00:52:07,273 --> 00:52:08,752 Success! 768 00:52:08,833 --> 00:52:11,984 I should get it remounted if I were you. Save that happening again. 769 00:52:12,073 --> 00:52:15,702 Remounted? Sorry, who are we talking about now exactly? 770 00:52:16,873 --> 00:52:19,990 I was just saying, that earring she thought.... 771 00:52:20,073 --> 00:52:22,428 What the hell was that for.... 772 00:52:22,513 --> 00:52:26,745 I can't believe I've been so blind all this time! 773 00:52:27,593 --> 00:52:31,745 Don't either of you ever dare to turn up on my doorstep again! Ever! 774 00:52:44,873 --> 00:52:47,626 That "thing" she had to collect upstairs. 775 00:52:48,193 --> 00:52:52,027 She said could she leave it with us and perhaps we could bin it for her. 776 00:52:52,673 --> 00:52:54,629 Or better still, burn it. 777 00:53:12,673 --> 00:53:14,152 Yes! 778 00:53:14,913 --> 00:53:17,825 ♪ Considering 779 00:53:18,673 --> 00:53:24,145 ♪ So many folk dissatisfied with everything 780 00:53:24,673 --> 00:53:31,067 ♪ Who need someone to understand they're lonely 781 00:53:31,153 --> 00:53:33,826 ♪ They're lonely 782 00:53:33,913 --> 00:53:36,985 ♪And they're not alone 783 00:53:37,673 --> 00:53:40,870 ♪And everywhere 784 00:53:40,953 --> 00:53:46,630 ♪ They shrug their shoulders Tell themselves they don't care 785 00:53:47,513 --> 00:53:53,304 ♪And all the while they make believe they're happy 786 00:53:53,393 --> 00:53:56,544 ♪ They're happy 787 00:53:56,633 --> 00:53:59,431 ♪ But not really 788 00:54:03,713 --> 00:54:09,470 ♪And they're asked to hold the world together... ♪ 789 00:54:10,233 --> 00:54:14,351 GIL: Why is it so hard always to give up on the one you love? 790 00:54:15,513 --> 00:54:20,587 But we all have to do it sometime or other. And just face the fact it's not going to happen. 791 00:54:21,753 --> 00:54:25,109 And that goes for all kinds of stuff, not just people. 792 00:54:26,793 --> 00:54:32,550 How much is she in love with the idea of becoming this big, successful actress 793 00:54:32,833 --> 00:54:35,028 and yet sooner or later, 794 00:54:35,113 --> 00:54:38,662 she's going to have to let go and just settle for what she's got. 795 00:54:39,153 --> 00:54:48,949 ♪ ...confusion of going nowhere ♪ 796 00:54:49,473 --> 00:54:53,751 GIL: And actresses, don't imagine they're always the greatest role models. 797 00:54:54,753 --> 00:54:59,702 I mean, if anyone had told me a night out with Angie O'Hara could be such a turn-off! 798 00:55:00,913 --> 00:55:05,589 But, you know, beyond the killer bosom and all the stockings and underwear... 799 00:55:05,673 --> 00:55:08,267 God, she would drive you nuts. 800 00:55:10,273 --> 00:55:15,347 No, I'm definitely thinking there is more sanity to be had in a greengrocer's. 801 00:55:17,233 --> 00:55:22,182 ♪ ...where you are is where you've been so many years 802 00:55:23,393 --> 00:55:29,150 ♪And things that tend to change you Tend to hurt you 803 00:55:30,193 --> 00:55:34,709 ♪ They hurt you Very deeply 804 00:55:39,433 --> 00:55:45,110 ♪And still you try to hold the world together 805 00:55:45,193 --> 00:55:51,268 ♪ Make it happen Give it children 806 00:55:51,353 --> 00:55:57,223 ♪ Who in turn are turning on to 807 00:55:57,513 --> 00:56:00,471 ♪ Going nowhere ♪ 808 00:56:01,713 --> 00:56:05,865 ALICE: I suppose it's too easy to say people are like properties. 809 00:56:06,753 --> 00:56:10,063 That just when you think this could be the perfect partner, 810 00:56:10,153 --> 00:56:14,510 there's always that one crucial flaw you know you could never live with. 811 00:56:14,953 --> 00:56:17,945 Which is a bit of a game in itself, I suppose. 812 00:56:21,513 --> 00:56:24,391 Smart, clean and well-appointed... 813 00:56:26,953 --> 00:56:29,706 but with alarming cracks in ceiling. 814 00:56:34,633 --> 00:56:36,942 Many attractive features... 815 00:56:37,473 --> 00:56:40,545 but not enough time left on the lease. 816 00:56:46,633 --> 00:56:49,830 Bright, with fresh modern aspect... 817 00:56:50,153 --> 00:56:51,632 Hey, Michael! How you doing? 818 00:56:51,713 --> 00:56:53,863 but problem with noise pollution. 819 00:56:55,273 --> 00:56:59,949 Or sometimes it's just a case of being way out of your range. 820 00:57:03,553 --> 00:57:08,308 Of course, you must never be put off by the décor, that's very important because... 821 00:57:09,033 --> 00:57:12,708 a little bit of sprucing up, that can be easily fixed. 822 00:57:25,753 --> 00:57:28,551 GIL: I guess that was a nice twist in the end. 823 00:57:30,073 --> 00:57:34,669 She spends all that time working on my cupboards and I get the distressed look. 824 00:57:37,753 --> 00:57:41,189 And there you were, running around like a blue-assed fly 825 00:57:41,273 --> 00:57:45,824 when you just knew all the time Pascal was never going to turn up for that lunch 826 00:57:45,913 --> 00:57:48,905 'cause that would have ruined the whole nihilistic subtext. 827 00:57:49,593 --> 00:57:52,061 I don't even remember now what the excuse was. 828 00:57:53,633 --> 00:57:55,589 Did Godot have an excuse? 829 00:57:56,273 --> 00:58:00,585 I don't think so, he just sends a message saying he'll be there tomorrow. 830 00:58:01,473 --> 00:58:05,307 And how does it all end? One of the tramps says, "Shall we go?" 831 00:58:05,393 --> 00:58:08,226 And the other one says, "Yes, let's go. " 832 00:58:09,433 --> 00:58:12,505 And the script says, "They do not move. " 833 00:58:15,433 --> 00:58:19,585 ALICE: Maybe it's time I faced the fact, it's me that's the problem. 834 00:58:20,793 --> 00:58:25,548 I mean, why can't I just be like Suzanne? I'd have absolutely no worries. 835 00:58:26,593 --> 00:58:31,587 "Shallow, adulterous ingrate seeks similar. " I'd be spoilt for choice. 836 00:58:33,553 --> 00:58:35,111 Possibly. 837 00:58:38,153 --> 00:58:41,304 Swear I'm getting that brain tumour back again.